A Leader Brought About by Dissonance

            I have always been the type of person who follow my own set of beliefs and follow what I think is right. As stubborn as I may sound, that has just been the way I have been since I was a child. It’s probably because I am the first-born grandchild out of the sixteen in my mother’s side. We are a very tightly knit family. In fact, we spend so much time together that it’s as if we are all siblings. For this reason, being the eldest grandchild has been a very important role for me. Being a role model is not always easy, most especially when you have fifteen other people looking up to you. Also, as the eldest grandchild, I have always had the respect of the rest of the children. This has instilled in me a good sense of authority and leadership. I believe that this is one of them main reasons as to why I am not used to being contradicted or to be put frankly, I just hate it when I am forced to do something beyond my beliefs.

Ever since this sense if authority and leadership was built in me, I have always tried to avoid situations wherein I would need to follow other people and do things that I think are not right. The way I coped with this situation is simply put this way, “If you do not want to follow, be followed.” By this I mean, standing up when the call for it arises. Every time I feel that certain situations will either put me in a situation wherein I would have to listen to what others want, or have others listen to what I want, I grab the latter right at once. When I leader is needed, I step up and take responsibility for certain things. This way, I would not have to be forced into following what others want. This does not mean that I am not open to opinions because I am. Especially when I am the leader in whatever case it may be, I always make sure that opinions of others are heard and considered. I do this because I have experienced situations during my childhood wherein I remember being to shy to speak up or to give my own opinions. I’d would rather just keep quiet and take no part in the situation that have to overcome by shyness. I like being in command because this way, I would not have to just keep saying yes because I am afraid to go against authority and at the same time, I know that other people have amazing things to say but are just too shy to do so.

I was in awe when I first read the readings regarding cognitive dissonance, which was our lesson last week because the way I could relate truly caught my interest. I can relate to the fact that doing things inconsistent with my own beliefs causes stress or tension just like it was discussed in class. I was further intrigued when I was reading the part about dealing with these dissonances. Coping strategies are indeed put into use in order to avoid or lessen the stress caused by these dissonances.

An experience in my life that shows how I cope with not wanting to just say yes to others takes part in my sport, soccer. When I started out my first year in the Xavier Varsity team, I was almost what people would call a benchwarmer. I did not enjoy being a benchwarmer because every time I would enter the field people would shout at me telling me what to do even if I knew that I was doing the right thing. They just wanted to take advantage of the fact that I was new to the team. This experience of mine was something that aggravated my potential in soccer because I trained double time. Soon enough, my hard work paid off when I was assigned as the team captain. Being the team captain allowed me to do whatever i felt i had to do to help us win. It my call for me to take over the game, or to pass to a teammate, but what was important to me was that i would be doing things i believe are right. I would always put my heart out and play my best game because i had to be a good role model, which was something I enjoyed doing. The way I dealt with my situation as a benchwarmer shows that I really do not like doing things people tell me to do especially if I believe otherwise. My hard work paid of because  it brought out the best in me.

            This shows a good sense of the lesson we had regarding cognitive dissonance last week. According to our discussion in class, dissonance is the when things are inconsistent with your own beliefs and this can be seen in the experience I had when I was new to the soccer team. Dissonance can be seen here because being a benchwarmer meant that I would have to listen to what other people tell me to do even if I did not agree with what they were saying. This is only one situation wherein dissonance can be found, but dissonances can always be lessened by the use of the different coping strategies. Avoiding these dissonances would aid us one way or another, just as in my case, it has brought about a leader who is always ready to lead by example.